Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Moved to distraction

I am a regular viewer of American cable television shows that make the most of their channel affiliation by flaunting sexual content; shows like "True Blood", "Dexter" and, when it was still on the air, "Rome".

Recently, I started watching "Spatacus: Blood and Sand," which gained buzz early on when its network ordered a second season before the first episode had even aired. Writers were giddy with puns when describing the explicit sex and violence featured on the show. Being the seasoned voyeur that I am, I failed to heed their warnings.

The only reason why I can recall the plot of the first and second episodes of "Spartcus" is because they follow the standard fall and rise of a hero: a Thracian warrior crosses the Romans and is sentenced to die in the gladiatorial arena only to survive and find hope for freedom as a gladiator. Otherwise, the episode details are a blur of rock hard abs and slow mo thrusting.

Producers, Sam Raimi and Robert Tapert are longtime purveyors of super ripped torsos with more family friendly fare like "Xena: Warrior Princess", "Hercules: The Legendary Journeys", and, currently, "Legend of the Seeker". With "Spartacus", Raimi and Tapert have now become peddlers of soft porn. Conversational scenes all eventually lead to explicit, and frequently gratuitous, sex scenes. Full frontal nudity makes an appearance at least once every episode, but audiences are kept busy with heavy helpings of tits and ass.

I frequently lost track of conversations because I became distracted by Andy Whitfield's tiny gladiatorial shorts, or Lucy Lawless's butt, or Extra # 2's penis. Then, when I would ask Joe to rewind so that I could actually comprehend the words, he would refuse on the grounds that he did not want to view the sausage factory again.

I would like to re-watch the first two episodes of "Spartacus" but Joe will not join me (sausage factory), and sharing the experience with anyone else might be as inappropriate as showing them a dirty magazine, but could re-watching the show by myself be construed as pervy?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

All power to the pervs! ~r