Your father wants to tell you something

Father's Day is coming up and the retail stores are stumbling over themselves with gift suggestions. Unfortunately, noone has any original ideas.

Golf, ties and beer have become the shorthand for father appreciation the same way flowers, perfume and badly made crafts are equated with mother's day. Luckily, I was never under the delusion that those gifts would suffice for my parents. Early on (aged 5), my dad made it clear that he didn't want me wasting his money on things he didn't need because the thought, especially if it was thoughtless, does not count. And my mom did not keep any subpar finger painting around for long ("Can I throw this out now, dear? It's been here long enough.").

It may all sound harsh but my mother and father are just expressing what more subtle parents have been thinking for years. Dad would not be caught dead in that Bugs Bunny tie and he never used that hand painted 'Best Dad' mug for fear of lead poisoning. Mom dry heaves when she smells your perfume and the apron only confirms her fear that she is becoming her mother.

Mom and Dad were individuals with personalities and interests once upon a time. If you care, take them out to dinner and get to know them. Then next year, you won't make the mistake of getting them a mass produced product that simply acknowledges their ability to procreate successfully.