My co-worker and Ann Coulter

Things have been getting increasingly tense at my workplace as the business spirals into the financial toilet and my co-worker's small-minded, petty ways become less and less charming.

Shortly after her latest rude one-liner today, I started fantasizing about ways to smack her without getting in trouble. I thought of 'tripping' on the carpet before 'accidentally' flinging a can of beans at her head. Variations on this fantasy simply involved different objects to chuck in her direction.

To make the depth of my dislike for my co-worker understandable to a wider audience, I would like to compare her to a celebrity who provokes the same gag reflex in me: Ann Coulter.

While Ann and my co-worker share little in common besides the ability to make shockingly insensitive remarks without irony and a moral compass guided by personal gain, the flood of vitriol they provoke from me is pretty much equal in quantity.

The natural reaction I have towards Ann is a combination of distaste and pity. I did not understand this reaction until I realized that Ann reminds me of that prototypical shit-disturber of a classmate that noone liked back in grade school. You know: the nerdy girl who was clearly starved for attention and always out to prove her mental superiority over you.

Present day Ann is the natural progression of that one track classmate. Somewhere along the way, she learned that she could prolong the attention she got if she was more attractive. Unfortunately, Ann resorted to the cheat sheet as opposed to actually developing any true style: the mall haircut that stresses length, the bottle blond, and ill-fitting black dresses all betray the fashion sense of a frat boy.

To comment on Ann's writing and politics is like laughing when a child swears; it's cute now but you'll regret encouraging that sort of behaviour later. And who can really take Ann seriously when her website comes across less like a source of political thought and more like an online dating profile?

I feel better already. So, thank you, Ann Coulter. Between enema Ann and my co-worker, it turns out that two wrongs do make a right.