Be still my heart

It's been reported that Jon Stewart of The Daily Show will be hosting the 78th Annual Academy Awards. I am cautiously excited.

Last year's host, Chris Rock, failed mostly because pressure to cater to a family audience and kotow to Hollywood made Rock look like a eunuch. I love Chris Rock and it made me crinch to watch him take drunken swipes at people who are just asking for a beating.

Several years ago, David Letterman's Oscar hosting stint became a showcase of temporary senility. The man whose obvious apathy and disdain for celebrities usually makes for good television was reduced to babbling, "Oprah...Uma...Oprah...Uma" on international television.

The heavy burden of Oscar's self-importance has broken all potential shit-disturbers thus far. The few hosts that have been widely commended on a job well done have been the pleasantly innocuous: Billy Crystal, Steve Martin, Whoopi Goldberg.

It would make all my wildest dreams come true to see Jon Stewart spank the Hollywood elite like he spanked Tucker Carlson on that infamous episode of Crossfire. Stewart pissed on guest protocol when he attacked the show, its hosts, and its whole reason for being, while a hapless Carlson begged Stewart to "be funny."

Here's hoping that Stewart doesn't cave under Oscar pressure like so many others.