Put down that fork. Spit up that turkey. Christmas may be just around the corner but New Year's Day is just down the street. And 2006 is staring straight at your paunch.
Like 99.9% of the population (remaining .1% being people who are foolish enough to "love themselves just as they are"), I will make the traditional vow to lose weight. And this year, I mean what I vow.
The difference in 2006 are key motivating points:
- After years of dubious dieting and borderline eating disorders - all rites of womanhood, I think I have finally figured out the magic formula: eating in moderation and exercise. And if that doesn't work, I plan to combine this magic formula with gimmicks like Trimspa and the Weight Watchers, just in case.
- I'm getting older and the metabolism is not getting any faster. Skinnier people than me have gotten fat. That is enough warning for me. There is no need to poke my back fat with a wooden stick.
- I will take a cue from reality television and create my own version of The Biggest Loser. Competition and an audience will succeed where self-motivation fails. And in the end, there will be satisfaction in either being skinnier than my competition, or being able to label my competition 'the biggest loser' with group consensus.
Coincidentally, my perpetual rival, Flocons decided to lose weight - in the month of gorging, December. He is the competition that I am aiming for. If all goes according to plan, "RVD4: The Biggest Loser" will play out over the bleak winter months, hopefully curing all spectators of Seasonal Affective Discorder, and in the grand tradition of reality television, make us all better people.
Stay tuned!
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