My friends and I frequently discuss what it would take to get us to descend into cannibalism. If we were stranded in the Andes mountain by a plane crash like the rugby team in the movie, Alive, we would gladly eat our fallen comrades. If our plane had crashed during the one hour flight between Toronto and Ottawa, we would also resort to cannibalism. Hell, if there was a 15 minute takeoff delay on our flight, we would have started sharpening our butter knives. Clearly, it would not take much for us to become cannibals.However, we are not so foolhardy as to eat strangers, what with diseases and all. We've always agreed that we would eat our beefy yet wholesome friend, Senan. Senan always laughs goodnaturedly when our hungry gaze turns to him. Clearly, we are joking.
Luckily for Senan and any fellow passengers we might fly with in the future, there is now human flesh alternative. Hufu is "designed to resemble, as humanly possible, the taste and texture of human flesh." Apparently, we taste like sweet beef. The product is vegan/vegetarian friendly, being made from tofu, and was originally intended for anthropology students "hungry for the experience of cannibalism."
In addition to serving "adventure seeking cannibal enthusiasts", the company offers a line of sea mammal meat substitutes and plans on expanding their unusual food products.I have always found the North American diet of chicken, beef and pork too restrictive. Hufu is truly a product that will delight not only miscellaneous meat connoisseurs like me, but vegans! Noone can possibly find anything wrong with Hufu (actually, there have been complaints of insensitivity towards those who were forced into cannibalism under dire conditions but we won't get into that now).
I can't wait to buy some and shape them into a Senan doppelganger. Mmmmmmm...meaty...
4 comments:
There is no substitute for Senan-meat! Get him now before he becomes all though and dry after going to Ballys!
Panda meat, Llama and Human. Breakfast, lunch and dinner of champions.
All taste like chicken.
We were joking about the Senan comments?? Really? Damn! I already made 'emergency' cannabalism bibs for us all with a picture of Senan with a fork in him and the caption "Who's eating you?". (How freaked out would he be to see those, huh?)
BTW - Seal: the veal of the sea? Where did you *find* that? I was almost in tears!
"There have been complaints of insensitivity towards those who were forced into cannibalism under dire conditions but we won't get into that now"
I don't see how Hufu is any more insensitive to forced-cannibalists as forced-cannibalists are insensitive to cannibalist victims. Hufu is just the thing to prevent such horrible acts in the future. Individuals who would resort to cannibalism under extreme circumstances (like myself) should always keep a Hufu bar close by.
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