Look at me! I'm reading!

It has been a while since I have been caught up in a book. I read periodicals off the internet everyday and enjoyed some graphic novels quite recently, but my attention span has not allowed for the more leisurely pace that a good book requires.

Nicholas Carr was on "The Colbert Report" back in September to promote his book, The Big Switch: Rewiring the World, from Edison to Google. He posits that the internet is taking away our ability to concentrate. Carr perfectly encapsulated the frustration that I have felt in trying to control myself as I jump from web page to web page, and days turn into months. Sometimes, I am forced to think hard in order to remember what year it is.

I have been trying to read Jared Diamond's Guns, Germs, and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies for the last several months but its textbook-like quality has only enabled my web surfing addiction. Then Joe got a book for his birthday: Terry Pratchett's Nation. I had a bad introduction to Pratchett's work through his Discworld books, which Joe is a fan of but I found too British in its humour (read: punny). Yet, I started Nation last night and I am almost half way through. Clearly, some easy reading is the solution to my book drought.

Eventually, I hope to finish Diamond's tome, which does get more interesting once war and disease become major players in human history. In the meantime, I am going to recommend some of my favourite fulfilling no-brainers, in the hope of receiving other people's easy reading lists. So, please recommend away.

Me Talk Pretty One Day - David Sedaris
I recommend this book a lot but no one takes me seriously. I have never laughed so hard while reading as I did when I read about Sedaris's family and his ludicrous leaps of logic. His other books are great but not as close to comic perfection as his 2001 publication; a close contender is Catch-22 by Joseph Heller.

First three books of A Song of Ice and Fire - George R.R. Martin
There's talk of plans to bring this series to the screen but I do not see how the film medium can do Martin's expansive story and massive cast of fully developed characters justice. Martin has been suffering from writer's block and the fourth book, A Feast For Crows, was a disappointment due to the absence of a good editor. However, an uncertain future for the series should not deter readers from enjoying the first three books, which meld a fantasy story with the ruthlessness of a war epic. Less emotionally straining and almost as absorbing is the complete Belgariad series by David Eddings.

Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
It never ceases to amaze me how easy a read this novel is, even with a span of 200 years since its publication. Austen's story has been adapted repeatedly, directly and indirectly, but nothing beats the subtle wit of the original. I highlight this Austen novel over her others because of its mix of social satire with unsentimental romance. Another early feminist romance that goes down easy is Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery. And heterosexual men should not fear castration from reading either of these books - they are just good reading.

Next up: my list of more challenging yet equally rewarding reading favourites.

Smut debate: real or fake?

The only show that I have been scheduling my life around this season is True Blood, an HBO show that was a pleasant surprise from my initial impressions. However, only now have I been compelled to blog about a particular episode.

Amy (played by Lizzy Caplan, last seen in Cloverfield) was introduced this past Sunday as a new bed mate for town slut, Jason Stackhouse. It was no surprise that Amy gets topless like everyone else in this series. Apparently, the blogs are a tizzy over Lizzy's nude scene since bloggers are geeks, and perverts to boot.

However, on sight, my eyes told me that Lizzy Caplan has implants. I will not post photos nor links since HBO will probably rip down anything it finds and blog readers tend to be adept at web searches.

Admittedly, Lizzy's breasts seem too reasonably sized for implants. Yet, support for my implant intuition include:

• breasts that are too round and solid - there is no natural curvature or sway
• nipples located right in the middle instead of at the end of a taper
• a very skinny body outside of the chest (even Lindsey Lohan lost her chest when she became briefly anorexic)

If it turns out that Lizzy is indeed blessed by mother nature, I don't know whether to envy or pity her.

Copy and paste "Lizzy Caplan" "True Blood" into your search engine now and give me your scientific analysis. Be sure to wear goggles and a lab coat in case your significant other catches you.

More Cowbell!

Another birthday for Joe, another opportunity to have a very expensive dinner. As usual, I read online reviews and decided to take Joe to Cowbell (1564 Queen Street West, Toronto), a restaurant that specializes in meat (animals are slaughtered and cured on the premises) and locally sourced ingredients.

On arrival, we found the restaurant to be small and intimate. The ever-changing menu was featured on chalk boards hanging from the wall; the dishes available to diners did not just change from day to day but also from hour to hour. Joe ordered the Grass fed Angus Beef with diced sausage, arugula and butternut squash ($30) and was informed by the server that he would be getting sirloin since that was the part of the cow that the chef had currently reached. I ordered the Red Deer with sausage, pickled beets and sauerkraut ($36, seen on the left) in the nick of time as it was the last portion of the chops available that night.

Before the arrival of our main dishes, Joe and I each enjoyed the Potato and Leek Soup with Goat Ricotta ($9) and shared the Cowbell Chaucuterie ($16), a selection of meats, cheeses and pickled vegetables of the day.

The soup was deliciously smooth as was the goat ricotta, which complimented it perfectly. The pâtés proved to be the most exciting part of the Chaucuterie as the sausages tended to share a similar smoky flavour.

Joe seemed very happy with his sirloin steak (seen on the right) and I was impressed with the freshness of his squash. However, I was absolutely in love with my red deer; truly cooked medium rare and flavourful in spite of the leanness of the meat. Everything else on my plate, including the sausage, paled in comparison.

For dessert, I chose the Chocolate Tart ($9, seen on the left) while Joe selected the Poire Etienne with vanilla ice cream ($9), named after its maker. My Chocolate Tart was dense but not overly sweet nor rich. The berry sauce that accompanied it had me scraping my plate for its surprisingly complex flavour. Joe enjoyed his dessert pear though we disagreed on the correct method to eat the accompanying chocolate roll; I was in favour of using one's hands while Joe used both his fork and spoon to carry and push the roll, respectively, into his mouth. Sometimes, I wonder if I can take him anywhere.

The waitstaff were pleasant but one of them never smiled though he was polite enough. It seemed ludicrous for him to be so intensely serious when he wore a red, long sleeved cotton shirt that featured the word 'Cowbell' on the chest. In my mind, a crisp shirt would probably have contributed to a more appropriate uniform.

Joe and I will be on the lookout for the restaurant's Farmers Nights in 2009. The chance to eat locally grown produce is appealing to both the conscience and the appetite.

Whine restraint update

My abstinence from whining in the past week did not go well. Turns out that it is easier to stop the flow of material into your mouth (i.e. meat) than it is to curb the crap that can come out.

On another note, Joe has pointed out that I usually resort to bitching more than whining. In my mind, I had lumped whining, bitching and complaining under one faux pas. Even after this clarification, Joe did not slap me though I am sure he was sorely tempted at times.

I will continue to be as stoic as possible. Next on my list of bettering myself:

• stop swearing in front of children
• dampen my hair-trigger temper
• reduce the elevation of my back fat
• get off the internet long enough to read a book

Good news for Canada

In keeping with my 'no whine' policy this week, I will refrain from a tirade against Stephen Harper for wasting taxpayer money in his bid for a majority government that ultimately came to nothing. Instead, I will point out that Canadians are showing common sense not only at the ballot box but also at the box office.

While Beverly Hills Chihuahua came out on top at the American box office this past weekend, Canadians chose Body of Lies, a Ridley Scott film. The family flick about dogs that look like rodents came in fourth in Canada whereas the espionage thriller came in third in the U.S.

Now, Barack Obama seems like the obvious choice over John McCain for President but, then again, I am a Canadian who would have chosen Body of Lies over Beverley Hills Chihuahua.

No whine, please

I've decided on a new personal resolution that will probably be harder than my brief foray into full-time vegetarianism: I'm going to try to give up whining.

whine
noun –verb (used without object)
1. to utter a low, usually nasal, complaining cry or sound, as from uneasiness, discontent, peevishness, etc.: The puppies were whining from hunger.
2. to snivel or complain in a peevish, self-pitying way: He is always whining about his problems. –verb (used with object)
3. to utter with or as if with a whine: I whined my litany of complaints. –noun
4. a whining utterance, sound, or tone.
5. a feeble, peevish complaint.

This is going to be hard because I live in a city of whiners; people who bitch about the weather, their jobs, or just about anything that tickles their fancy. Wait! Is that statement a whine?

For the next week, I will aim for 'stoic' rather than 'bottle of sunshine'. I am also giving the people around me permission to slap me if they hear a nasally sound escape from my mouth. And I will probably thank them for the effort, though not if it is excessively hard. Hopefully, friends on whine patrol will also refrain from whining around me because peer pressure and enabling make recovery much harder.

Until next Friday, no whine with my cheese.

My latest obsession: Kings of Leon

I haven't heard such a great song of longing since U2's "All I Want Is You". Sacrilege, you say! Listen to "Use Somebody" by Kings of Leon and comment at will.

PS: Kings of Leon were the opening band for U2 during their 2005 US tour. So, maybe this isn't so far fetched at all.