For rapid weight gain

Between the stress of work and the new home, I find myself eating rather indiscriminately. Consume left over pasta salad twice a day for four days straight? Why not? The result is predictable.

If you are ever in a weight gain competition, include the following on your grocery list:

• instant noodles
• Häagen-Dazs
• whatever else adds poundage quickly in the sumo wrestler rolling level of We Love Katamari. The game designers had it right.