Mission Accomplished: Part One

While California conjures up images of bronzed, hard bodies and a
thriving porn industry, our main goal in going to San Diego was to visit Comic Con 2006. I must admit that I was unprepared for the scope and craziness of the event. Unlike other visitors, I did not write up a list of must-have Convention exclusives, must-see panel discussions, and must-harrass artists whose signatures will make your comic worth big bucks. But I did not stay blasé for long.

On Preview Night, those who had pre-registered for the full four days of the Convention were treated to an evening of madness. Visitors were corralled in a lineup that went down the hall, up to the second floor of the convention centre, snaked here and there, and finally led back downstairs. After entering the Exhibition Hall, I was quickly swept up in the rush to get a Nemesis Prime (seen on the right). It was a Comic Con exclusive, which whipped up the froth in the mouths of all Transformers enthusiasts. I found myself in a lineup that circled the Hasbro booth three times and I ended up buying two action figures: one to keep and one to dangle in front of Canadian buyers.

The rest of the convention was pretty much a blur of buying and coveting so here are some highlights.

The rush to get free stuff was insane: free D&D figures,
free comics, free masks. Even free plastic bags were highly prized. I
saw people walk away with an armful of plastic bags for reasons unknown.

Stan Lee took part in the Spider Retrospective panel discussion. It was less about information and more about entertaining a worshipful crowd with delightful anecdotes. A typical exchange between Stan Lee and John Romita Sr came across like geriatric comedy:

SL: That was a fantastic cover

JRS: That wasn't the original cover though.

SL: It wasn't?

JRS: You originally wanted that other cover.

SL: I was a moron!

JRS: We've had this discussion before.

SL: We have?

...And on and on.

The buying power of the fanboy/girl has made major studios sit up and take notice. Snakes on a Plane had a huge plane-shaped python on the exhibition floor and its star, Samuel L. Jackson, came for a panel discussion.

Also in attendance was the Vice President of Twentieth Century Fox who came to the Convention to present some upcoming features that might need the support of fanboys/girls. Viking action film, Pathfinder, was one of them and director, Marcus Nispel, recalled how he had naively taken on the dubious job of remaking The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Seemingly doomed to box office failure, Nispel was advised to take his film to Comic Con where he might find a supportive audience, which he did. It goes without saying that the assumption is that fanboys/girls will pay good money to watch what most would label excreable. Hence, the reason why Nispel was back with his latest offering.

After sitting through Reno 911, Pathfinder, and Eragon (a LOTR cash-in if I ever saw one), we finally saw what I was waiting for: Borat! (Seen above) 'Kazakstan's number one reporter' came to promote 'his country' and his new film. His movie clip featured a nude Borat accidentally assuming various sexual position with his hairy, fat boss while fighting, and left the Vice President of Twentieth Century Fox red-faced and sheepish. As Borat would say, "I like!"

If ever you wondered what John of Dymaxion World looked like, look no further than Bruce Timm. The creator of contemporary cartoon classics, "Batman", "Batman Beyond", "Justice League", and "Justice League Unlimited" was featured in a retrospective despite only having been in the business since 1989.

Timm's panel discussion was one of the best because it was informative about Timm's creative process and gave a behind the scenes look into his various series, yet remained entertaining. Even the audience questions were reasonable and did not fall into fanboy obsessive territory (ie "In Episode #12, why did Green Lantern's ring glow Kelly green and not the Emerald green of Episode...blah blah blah").

Before Bruce Timm's panel discussion, we had camped out in the venue in order to get good seats. Thus, we were forced to sit through the panel discussion for the David Boreanaz show, "Bones". Unfortunately, from the way audience questions were going, you would think "Angel" was still going strong. (See Boreanaz fans above.) Wedgie girl at the front had stayed up until 3am to write a letter to Boreanaz and begged for the chance to give it to him. Boreanaz graciously and bravely came within arm's length of his fan to accept her missive.

On the second last night of Comic Con, a Masquerade was held. This did not mean costumes, punch and social interaction for all. Instead, in true fanboy/girl tradition, everyone sat back and frequently jeered at 48 entries in a costume fashion show.

For the most part, the audience enjoyed anything that was a good facsimile of a familiar character presented in a humourous fashion. For instance, Kang of "The Simpsons" was one of a few impressive homemade costumes that was cheered when he demanded Jessica Alba as an appetizer. Elaborate, original costumes created from someone's imagination just did not cut it.

The crowd's conservative tendencies were also betrayed when a trailer for the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie was shown before the Masquerade. There was raucous applause from the crowd for what I consider a lazy cash cow for the movie studio, guilty of preying on nostalgia. Like Pavlov's dog, the audience probably would have cheered as loudly for neon surf boards and Atari game cartridges, if those nostalgic objects were also marched onto the stage.

Before we left San Diego for Los Angeles, we also visited Mission Beach, Balboa Park, the San Diego Zoo and the Gas Lamp District. But most importantly, we spent money on knick knacks like Bastardino (shown left) and the Kubrick Alien Comic Con Exclusive.

In Part Two, I'll wax on about my adventures at In-N-Out Burger, the Toy District, and on the top tier of a double decker tour bus in the middle of the afternoon during a heat wave in L.A. Stay tuned!