Lest we forget Robot Jox

It's a great time to be a fangirl/boy. Sci-fi and fantasy films are being produced on a grand scale with big budgets by fine directors, both fanboy (Sam Raimi, Peter Jackson, Joss Whedon) and more traditionally dramatic (Christoper Nolan, Ang Lee).

Therefore, it's hard to remember a time when Robot Jox was the norm. Bad dialogue, bad hair, bad acting, and a little bit of nudity - this was the sci-fi film that only hard core fanboys/girls could enjoy. (Indeed, our friend Alex rented this movie. That's right: he paid cold, hard cash for it.)

The story takes place after a World War III, when war has been outlawed. Still, the Cold War is fought out in competitions between huge, man helmed robots. Our studly American hero, Achilles, won his final fight with his Russian arch-nemesis, Alexander, on a technicality. It's a fact that Achilles's genetically enhanced protégé, Athena, is constantly browbeating him about. She's also uptight and attractive, in spite of the rat tail (read: Achilles eventually beds her).

Robot Jox is painfully entertaining. Robotic Athena strips an unconsicous Achilles nude to "examine the physique of a champion" for educational purposes; the hover crafts waver like cardboard boxes on the end of a shoestring; when Achilles is suffering the immense g-forces associated with being launched into space, it looks more like a rocking case of constipation.

I fear the return of Robot Jox when Hollywood finally tires of mining sci-fi and fantasy source material. But I encourage anyone to check out Robot Jox, Mortal Kombat, or Logan's Run. They are like the highly enjoyable near-death experiences that will make your Lord of the Rings and Firefly boxsets feel like an immaculate conception.