Meanwhile, in Canada

The push towards an, as yet, uncalled federal election is on with the recent surge of Conservative ads. While America gets to enjoy the soap opera of Sarah Palin, we get the comedy of Stephen Harper.

The most recent Conservative strategy is to turn Stephen Harper into a Mother's Day card. Sentimental music plays in the background while Harper prattles on to a mysterious senior citizen couple in a Canadiana living room.

My personal favourite is "Family is everything." Harper tries to make us forget about the robotic handshake he gave his kids a few years back by mustering as much enthusiasm as he is capable of regarding being a parent. Apparently, Harper is out to destroy the outdoorsy stereotype of Canadians by spending recreational time indoors with his kids; they play cards, watch movies and pretend to be the Partridge family.

The kicker is the sense of contented defeatism that ends the ad. Harper's folksy end quote is, "You know, the time is precious but, uh, but it's, uh, being a father is the best experience of my life." Then, "Canada. We're better off with Stephen Harper" flashes on the screen. While Harper tries to convince us (and himself?) how worthwhile fatherhood has been for him, his party touts him as the lesser of two evils. Like if you were given the choice between two STDs, you secretly hope for herpes because you would be better off with it.

Normally, I would look forward to the political satires but can you parody something that is already so clearly a comedy?

Who's the baby daddy?

John McCain's vice presidential running mate, Sarah Palin has confirmed that her 17 year old unmarried daughter, Bristol is pregnant.

Palin has indicated that Bristol plans to keep the baby and will also marry the father of the baby. Otherwise, Palin has asked the media to respect the family's privacy on this matter.

Speculation about the identity of the baby daddy has been met with protests that it is "none of our business". On the contrary, I think it is the public's business since Palin decided to make the personal, political - when it benefited her.

Palin was proud to hold up her five children, including a Down Syndrome baby, to the spotlight as proof of her pro-life stance. Now, with Bristol's unexpected pregnancy, Palin reveals that Bristol is ready to follow her mother's political beliefs then retreats to the safety of 'family privacy' before questions become too uncomfortable.

If Palin is going to make a play for one of the most powerful positions in U.S. politics, she should stop acting like a Hollywood star and take the heat. Answer some questions like:

• Who is Bristol's baby daddy?
• Was Palin too busy shooting animals to teach Bristol about abstinence?
• Will Bristol have to stay married for at least one term if Palin becomes Vice President?

Answers to these questions are as important as Palin's Down syndrome baby, family values and rifle collection. The unwashed masses want to know more!

Another comic book for the masses

Apparently, a trilogy of movies based on the adventures of Tintin is planned, and Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson are expected to direct a movie each. This is much more promising than that unfortunate union of Avatar and M. Night Shyamalan that was reported by self-described Avatard and eternal optimist, Vicki.

Tintin was the comic book that I grew up with. Whereas my parents discouraged reading Archie Comics, typical girl comic content at the time, claiming that the small print was bad for my eyes, they happily built my complete library of Tintin comic books.

Even as a fan, I shudder to think what a live version of Tintin might look like but I trust that Spielberg and Jackson, who will also serve as producer, are wealthier and more celebrated than me for a reason.

San Diego 2008 recap

Now that the Olympics are over, it is back to the regularly scheduled program of my never ending story about San Diego.

After the frustration of Comic Con 2008, we were eager to explore other attractions in San Diego, especially since Flocons and Royal had never been there.

La Jolla

Described in travel guides as a beautiful, retirement mecca, La Jolla was deemed car rental worthy by all. We arrived at 9am and already found it difficult but not impossible to park the car. Impossible came later, at noon, when one driver was willing to wait patiently for half an hour to take over our space.

The majority of La Jolla beaches consisted of narrow strips of sand with an overhang of cliffs. The crashing waves were impressive but hardly conducive to swimming. We settled on La Jolla Cove (seen above), which was very popular with snorklers. Even with our two swim goggles, shared between five people, and spit on by Alex, we could easily see the vivid Orange Garibaldi fish, the size of one's hand, as well as some smaller, unknown silver fish.

Mission Beach

In spite of its beauty, Joe and I did not like La Jolla as much as Mission Beach. With some coaxing, we convinced our friends to visit Mission Beach after a stopover at Roadrunner Sports and In-N-Out Burger, and they were not disappointed. On a side note, the Roadrunner Sports located in San Diego was purportedly the biggest running shoe store in North America but was seriously understaffed and understocked. Alex and Flocons ordered the 4X4 Burger from the secret menu at In-N-Out Burger and claimed to feel okay afterwards, blaming only the cheese for the time they served in the washroom later.

Mission Beach is a more traditional beach than La Jolla Cove, to be sure, but even with the high pedestrian traffic, the sand was clean and there was no sense of exclusivity. While strolling on the boardwalk, we took note of the websites for the rental units facing the beach and seriously dreamed of preparing food while watching a flat screen TV, like that guy with the open glass wall that we stared at from the boardwalk.

Many locals choose to take the public bus to Mission Beach in spite of the fact that parking is readily available. Later in our trip, we returned to Mission Beach by public bus (a mere 17 minute ride) to take surfing lessons. Our Surfari instructor knew he had his job cut out when he realized that none of us skateboarded nor snowboarded nor swam very well. He patiently guided us individually while the rest struggled to walk their boards into the waves, buffeted back one step for every two we advanced. I managed to 'pop up' with the instructor's assistance and I can now confidently say that I could not surf if my life depended on it.

Balboa Park

Joe and I had chosen to skip the San Diego Air & Space Museum during our last visit but it became our first destination this time around thanks to Star Trek: The Exhibition. Clearly a trap aimed at Comic Con attendees, we ran in gleefully when it opened at 10:00am. This exhibition was superior to one we had experienced in Las Vegas thanks to the many set recreations including the bridge of the original Enterprise, Picard's quarters, the hallway of the Enterprise D and the Transporter Room. We yucked it up while Royal covered her face in shame when she wasn't being forcibly posed in photographs that we later paid $15 each for.

The only other stop on our Balboa Park excursion was the San Diego Zoo. Flocons and Royal have a 'taste' for panda and, therefore, made a point of lining up to see them. Joe and I reluctantly joined them and were rewarded with a better view of the pandas than our last visit (see below).

All in all, a very enjoyable visit to San Diego, Comic Con 2008 notwithstanding. A bonus for vegetarians: San Diego restaurants offer a wide range of veggie burgers that are tasty. Minus for food connoisseurs: there are few true 'ethnic' food options.

Next up: my never ending story of our trip to San Francisco!

Thank you, Simon Whitfield

For the first time during the Beijing Olympics, I jumped up and down, and screamed at my TV. The cause of this excitement was Simon Whitfield's race for the gold during the Men's Triathlon competition.

In the end, Whitfield won a Silver but the guts he showed during the race was better than the majority of Gold Medal-winning performances that I have seen so far. As amazing as Michael Phelps, Guo Jingjing, and Usain Bolt are, there is something anti-climactic about watching an unchallenged winner.

Whitfield steadily hunted down the lead group of runners, repeatedly hanging off the back, falling away then struggling back into contention until the last kilometer, when he threw his hat off and charged ahead with everything he had left. He was passed by the Gold Medal winner in the last 30 meters but, without a doubt, Whitfield had done his best.

If every Canadian athlete showed as much competitive heart as Whitfield, I wouldn't care what the medal count was.

More sour Olympic notes:

• Who are those annoying McDonald's commercial kids? The three boys and two girls are so generic that they could be mistaken for quintuplets and their dialogue delivery makes the otherwise bland punchlines acutely painful. I thought McDonald's was a multinational corporation and a major sponsor of the Olympics. They couldn't afford something better than a bunch of brats exchanging weak repartee in and around a McDonald's during prime time Olympic coverage?


• The programmers at the CBC obviously have a passion for softball and women's volleyball (court and beach). I waited in vain for a repeat airing of the Women's Marathon, while Joe has yet to see any ping pong or badminton matches. Meanwhile, CBC chose to show, in its excruciating entirety, Canada's loss to Venezuela in softball. And what the female volleyball players lacked in backside coverage, CBC made up for in game coverage by forcing their audience to watch every riveting timeout, regardless of whether a Canadian was playing. Whatever happened to the highlight reel? Our only Olympic broadcast alternative, NBC, actively denied the existence of Canadian competitors; for instance, failing to show a single one of medal contender, Blythe Hartley's dives in favour of the lower ranked American divers.
  
• Finally, please bring the Summer Olympics back to this side of the world. I am fed up of being sleep deprived from staying up past midnight in order to catch live action from the Games.

Aim for zero

I can confirm, using the nifty iGoogle tool, that as of this moment on Day 6 of the Beijing Olympics, the Canadian medal count is zero.

Broadcasters and journalists seem to be relatively optimistic that Canada will win a medal soon. Currently, Canada is being beaten in the medal count by powerhouses like Armenia, Togo and Uzbekistan.

However, I would like to state for the record that I hope that Canada comes away with zero medals. This is a terrible thing to wish on the Canadian athletes who have worked so hard to make it to the Olympics. However, I think extreme failure is what is required for increased success in the future.

Many supporters like to point to a lack of funding as the reason why Canadian athletes fail to excel on the international athletics scene. Without a doubt, financial support is what has helped the American and Chinese teams succeed since it has allowed their athletes to concentrate on training full-time.

However, how does one explain the success of athletes from countries like Armenia or Kazakhstan (4 medals each)? I have my doubts that their athletes enjoy the same quality of life as Canadian ones.

One of the most annoying aspects of watching the Olympics on CBC is the unwavering optimism and good sportsmanship of the broadcasters and the athletes, respectively. CBC will cheerfully do a roll call of mediocrity in which John Doe was disqualified in first round while Jane Doe finished 17th overall. Then the athletes who are interviewed will say how happy they are to have competed in the Olympics or done a personal best. One sad schmuck said he was happy to have even swam in the same heat as Michael Phelps.

Where is the killer instinct? Where is the bravado? Why should being Canadian be equated with being a good loser and a cheerful supporter of mediocrity?

Zero medals is what Canada needs. Anything more, like tying with Kazakhstan, will only confirm the status quo for the athletes and organizers who will remain happy to have just shown up.

All that I could have been

The fluoride in the water controversy is back and now, critics are claiming that fluoride can have a detrimental effect on children's IQ.

Also being debated: whether breastfeeding brings about higher intelligence.

Combine my childhood consumption of tap water with the fact that my mother did not breast feed me, and, boy, do I feel stupid.

I do get tired of the hand wringing over mere points in IQ. Why do people search for minute indicators for why their children are underachieving when their children are, for instance, watching inane television shows instead of doing their homework?

Yes, I drank fluoride water because experts thought it was good for my teeth. And I was fed formula because my doctor claimed that it was better than breast milk. In spite of all this, I believe that I have an average IQ because weighing against the fluoride and formula was the fact that I read a lot of books when I was growing up. Also, I was fat because I ate alot and didn't exercise much. It's Ockham's razor.