For sale now

When I'm not writing in my blog, I like to go out and take photographs for my blog. Voila! Life beyond my keyboard.

Just when I think every little girl is going to be in a thong by the age of seven thanks to pop culture, along comes evidence of sanity. "Barbie Bling", an obvious rip-off of Bratz, is not selling well despite her sparkly napkin and denim belt. Whatever the reason for the poor sales, I am relieved. Combine this with the fact that Britney is becoming an obvious mess and maybe girls will start emulating Janet Reno. Only in my wildest dreams.

As I turned away from "Barbie Bling" with a sigh of relief, "G-taste" jumped out and stopped my heart. After being defibrillated, I was able to gaze at these dolls and think, "What the hell is wrong with the Japanese?" and then, "What is wrong with boys these days?" Well, at least half of the future is in safe hands.

One last thought: why is it that a scantily clad female is used to entertain both sexes? This applies for both dolls and magazine images. Personally, I find scantily clad anything acceptable - just see Harvey Keitel in The Piano and tell me you're not entertained.

This is available at Chapters right now. You might as well save your money; get a piece of string, connect it to a piece of cardboard then write "Rob me now" in big letter. Hang it around your neck as you "travel with ease!"

Arrested development continues

I have been obsessed with a new video game but I have an excuse for this obvious regression into immaturity: I have been sick. I have been suffering from exhaustion and a cold due to 'grown-up' wedding MC duties in early Janary.

In the days leading up to the wedding, I had trouble sleeping and suffered from performance anxiety. But in the end, I fell back on shouting and my trusty stock of sexual innuendoes, which made for an entertaining and 'klassy' evening for all.

The cost for this excellent evening was illness, which I quickly embraced: no exercising, and lots of eating and sleeping. I even got sympathy from Joe, who felt the need to treat me by buying a PS2 game called Psychonauts. Now, my cold is virtually gone and I am still pounding away at the PS2 controls.

Creator, Tim Shafer, was also the genius behind Grim Fandango and the Monkey Island games. Unlike Tim's previous outings, Psychonauts is not an adventure game, but it still retains the humour, extraneous yet interesting details, and puzzles that require creativity.

Shown above is one of my favourite levels, "The Milkman Conspiracy". I get to explore a creepily psychotic suburban neighbourhood while breaking into people's houses and their possessions to gain points. I could do this all day!

Adventure games may be dying a slow death but I can continue to game thanks to games like Psychonauts. So, thank you Tim Shafer, for prolonging my adolescence.

By the way, I must applaud Gears of War as a worthy contributor to the death of adventure games. It made the purchase of the XBox 360 totally worthwhile.

2007: Last hurrah for Peter Pan

It's 2007 and sadly, I think I'm growing up. Some construction workers visited my apartment a few weeks ago and it shamed me to realize that, between the foam swords and "Guitar Hero", we looked like adolescents. As I discussed possible improvements with the contractor, I plotted how quickly I could hide the action figures, not to mention my blankie.

I think my extended adolescence is symptomatic of my generation and my culture. Now that cartoons, video games and toys are no longer the sole domain of children, I need never leave my comfort zone. And we celebrate the juvenile alongside the clever; the Simpsons and Jon Stewart just don't appeal to our parents' generation because the former's cartoon format and the latter's smarty pants attitude are just not mature.

For a long time, I have enjoyed my arrested development but meeting those construction men made me realize that if I came face-to-face with a preadolescent from any developing country taking care of younger siblings, I would cover my head with a sac, which would promptly catch fire from my burning face.

This is not to say that I will throw away my toys and complain about 'kids these days', but it is probably time I became a contributor rather than a consumer in society.

However, no one becomes a man or dame overnight so for the rest of 2007, it will be an uneasy combination of this and this.

PS I hate the fact that Blogger has finally forced me to switch to the Google format. Now, the police will have an easier time finding me. (kidding!)

We're not going to take it

This is no longer timely but Joe enjoys this rendition of "Oh Come All Ye Faithful" by Twisted Sister so I'm posting it for him. Merry Christmas, baby!

Waiting with trepidation

A few months ago, the trailer for 300 was released and I was stunned. I had heard that a movie adaptation of Frank Miller's graphic novel would be made but I did not expect it to look like the most fantastic nightmare.

I realize that I should try to calm down since I ruined Borat for myself by overhyping it over several months. But, in this case, I can easily come up with reasons why I might not enjoy 300.

• I was not a fan of Sin City. It looked great but Frank Miller's clichéd dialogue and cast of caricatures were too exasperating. I do not expect much progress in 300, since the source material was written before Sin City.
• The story of the 300 Spartans battling the Persian army sounds like the kind of heroic underdog story that contemporary audiences love. However, upon closer inspection, the Spartans come across like a bunch of Aryan jocks. Here was a society that shunned the handicapped and the weak. It was their ruthless practice of weeding out so-called inferiors, like leaving babies in the wilderness to see which ones would survive, that eventually contributed to the decline of the population, and hence, their society.
• Pitted against the racial homogeneity of the Spartans are a bunch of coloured people and the physically deformed. When Frank Miller transforms the Greek turncoat, Ephialtes, into a grotesque hunchback, he participates in the kind of vilification that is usually only found in childish fairy tales. As an adult, equating minorities and the ugly with evil is harder to swallow.

Having said all this, I will probably see 300 in March, unless it gets a 'Rotten' rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

PS, fanboys/girls, I am prepared to be told how wrong I am. I have not read Frank Miller's graphic novel so feel free to school me.

Chit chat fodder with stuffing

A co-worker once told me that she dreaded meeting an old drunken uncle at Christmas gatherings because he was unpleasant and hostile. Upon noticing her nose ring, he once ask her, "Does your boyfriend grab that when you're doing it?" Fortunately for her, he no longer attends family gatherings.

If you are forced to converse with relatives and you would rather not explain your career or personal choices, here's more chit chat fodder, courtesy of my former customs broker.

Eat like an athlete
U.S. consumers are purchasing an unprecedented amount of sports nutrition products having spent nearly US$4-billion on this category last year with spending poised to grow to $4.8-billion by 2010. For many consumers, sports nutrition items represent a hoped-for short cut to better health. Sports bars, drinks and gels make up the largest share of the market with sales of over $3-billion in 2005.

Cats thank him, too
A Japanese scientist who invented environmentally friendly sources of light has been awarded the Millennium Technology Prize, worth over US$2-million. The award recognizes his inventions of blue, green and white light-emitting diodes (LEDs) and the blue laser diode. Blue LEDs are used in flat screen displays and blue lasers will be in the next generation of DVD players. White LEDs could provide a sustainable, low-cost alternative to lightbulbs, especially in developing countries.

Big pimping on the green
Across the U.S., an obscure new hobby is emerging, racing golf carts. People buy old carts for peanuts and bring them up to speed with lift kits, oversized tires, more powerful engines and roll bars. It is estimated that as many as four million Americans may own these vehicles, capable of speeds of up to 50 miles per hour. They are particularly popular in Arizona, California, Georgia and Florida.

More than one stiff
Five people in China have been detained for running striptease sendoffs at funerals. The once-common events are held to boost the number of mourners as large crowds are seen as a mark of honour.

Price check on religious artefact
Since the 10th century, travellers to Cornwall in the UK have been helped by hundreds of distinctive Celtic crosses carved from rough hewn granite which mark the route. But a recent wave of thefts, fuelled by Cornish nationalism, has prompted officials to adopt a 21st century solution to protect the ancient signposts. They are now being fitted with microchips about the size of a grain of rice which are glued to the crosses before being smeared with dirt to disguise them. If found, a scanner can reveal where the cross came from.

China: "We are filthy"
The government of China admitted recently that its water is unfit for drinking and has announced plans to spend US$150-billion over five years on sewage and water treatment facilities. By the end of last year, a total of 278 Chinese cities still had no waste water treatment facilities and pollutants in industrial discharges were often above permitted national standards.

Increasingly fat and jolly
The number of overweight people in the world has now overtaken the malnourished for the first time.

All I want for Christmas is...

I laughed pretty hard at this. Maybe Saturday Night Live doesn't blow as much as I thought. Or maybe SNL should just become the Andy Samberg Sing Song Hour.